Poem of My Ghost [Posthumous Poetry]

I once started a current,
Or perhaps touched an undercurrent,
Slipping into a flow,
That lay deep within my soul,

It started slow, picking up pace,
Racing ahead, driven by rage,
A tiny snowball growing into an avalanche,
It pushed my mind into a powerful launch,

Words've poured forth ever since,
Like water from a leaking tap,
A poem at the slightest nudge,
Of emotion, suggestion or a pointless grudge,

So much so that I swim in words,
Flying with them like light birds,
Sticking my head above it in vain,
All in an attempt to stay sane,

My solitude's filled with thought,
Words bubbling on their top,
The nothingness of my insides forming a mouth,
To whisper words for my pen to note,

Ghosts of words fill my prive,
To strike a balance for which I often strive,
Rising and falling between waves that're ebbing,
Each time producing a fine piece of writing,

My mind seldom sleeps, as I turn on my bed,
Words chaining to each other, weaving a web,
And if some day I die, midway thro' a poem,
My ghost might rise to finish it, carried by the momentum.

A Rise from False Love

I rise now, wiser than ever,
Bright, radiant and clear,
Redeeming my tormented soul,
From the grasp of the foul,

Absolving my spirit of the sin of love,
I rise now, free and pure as a dove,
Looking down upon my shatter'd egg of gloom,
That seemed to last forever, sealing me to doom,

I was fooled, yes, my dear,
Not by you but by your form in a mirror,
A woman who resided in my heart alone,
Bearing your face and charm but a clone,

She shared your eyes, your voice and all I could see,
But had a soul unique to her that'd fill me with glee,
I beheld her form when I closed my eyes,
And I believed this face enclosed those traits,

When I faced you, I saw her soul,
Not within you, for it isn't what you hold,
It reflected upon your form as my sight fell upon it,
But it truly lay within my heart.

Written about a month ago - perhaps even before.
Typed out on 11:52am, 20.5.2017. Edits till 11:55am

An Ode To The Shade of The Night

Cool shade of night,
Pray, stay awake and active,
So my wife and kids may sleep tight,
As they pull their blankets a little closer,
Shielding closed eyes, from a few rays of light,

Cool shade of night,
Pray hold your umbrella steady,
Casting a darker shadow tonight,
Under which me may curl cosy,
Rolling in our sleep, sans fret,

Cool shade of night,
Pray throw a larger expanse,
Of that darkness some of us deem so right,
So we may coop up in our tiny, dimlit rooms,
Working hard, 'til the sun shines bright,

Cool shade of night,
Pray, get warmer outside,
To ease homeless brothers' plight,
Who shrink within torn sheets,
Turning numb to the cold outside,

Cool shade of night,
Pray dim thy darkness,
And shine a little light,
Upon those who're dying awake,
Shivering with their last bits of skin and bone,
Cringing at the darkness of death,

Cool shade of night,
You're our mother, our lord,
Our only companion at night,
Knowing us best, even in our darkest hours,
Pray do what thou deemeth, the best for us with your might.

Written between 12:20pm and 12:25pm on 19.5.2017 at Aero Structures Lab.
Tiny edits between 1:55am to 2:07am [started perhaps later] on 20.5.2017 at aC504, H13, IIT Bombay.

After me

Oh for how long is a person himself?
Would I remain this man in death?
Perhaps I'd be the evil man I was in my dream?
Please do not take my wishes seriously,
For I am but a poor soul,
Claiming to know the world and its ways,
Moving about through matter of stardust,
But then again, what do I know?
Perhaps I might be right too -
Take my words as you would a child's,
Not too seriously, but do listen too.

My cremation isn't the end,
It is my death itself -
Perhaps I cannot see or hear -
Or even feel the presence of this world,

Or worse, I might feel it,
But as an inresponsive body,
With my soul locked in it,
Imprisoned for eternity,
Like those trapped in corpses burnt,
Or buried in graves,
Crying out for help,
In a voice none can hear.

At C514 a few days ago

Draft on 1.1.2017

Caged in Time

Lost in the shimmer and glitter of the distractive world,
He whiles his life away,
And before he stops to look at the time,
It strikes him down into sickness,
Like a creature let loose from its cage,
He roars loud in a fit of rage,
Only to reach,
That it wasn't a thing to capture in a cage,
That it had always been free,

He breaks the cage of his watch prison,
Which outstretches its pointy hands,
That'd been empty all along,
And it ticks away through the silence,
Seeming alive but deaf,

He falls now under the weight of fate,
Unable to get himself up,
And with his heart, stops his watch,
To record the time of death.

Written at 6:51pm on 9.1.2017

Within Me

When I can no longer see,
Or recognise friend or foe,
When I cannot distinguish the voice,
Of a loved one, a one who's close,
When I cannot sit up and talk,
Or get up and walk,
I will still remember your song,
Not when sung out loud,
But playing within my soul,
Heard only by me, by none else,

For then though my muscles shall be weary,
I shall smile within despite being dreary,
Remembering perhaps not your face,
Nay, even your name or voice,
But that joy that'd always spring,
When I'd hear you sing,

I may not say this then, perhaps ever,
But know this for now and forever,
That no matter how deep I dig,
Within the depths of what I call my soul,
You lie there, always at a moment's call,

I see you in my darkest corners,
Hear you in my quietest moments,
Feel you in the most disconnected of times,
And talk to you when I'm mute beyond words,

Something beats for you within me,
Alongside the heart that pounds daily,
Something of you breathes within my chest,
Alongside the breath that goes in and out.

Written at 3:37pm on the plane on 25.4.2017. Some edits made a few days later. Some edits made by 1:51am on 5.5.2017 (at room) and some more by 2:06am.

On some level this seems to have been inspired by 'Tumi Robe Nirobe' written by Rabindranath Tagore.

Carnal Disease

Pockets of flesh covered by skin,
Some heavy, some light,

Some say it's nature, some call it sin,
Why on earth should its touch I crave?
Yet it's a desire that sticks to me tight,
All the way up to my cold, dark grave.

I found this while browsing through my personal archives on Google Keep and realised I had to post it. I think I intended to stretch it out as a full poem eventually and was probably tired, considering the time at which I wrote it. I should've probably added it to my Short scribbles page but somehow found it as mainstream poetry material and hence I'm putting it here. I'll probably change the title some time.

Written at 3:44am on 13.11.2016 at C504, H13, IIT Bombay Edited at 5:12pm on 4.5.2017. Further edits made up to 5:50pm on 4.5.2017 at room

The Night We Met

'Twas a noisy crowd,
Crazy, confused and loud,
Bright light seeping through gaps,
Between dark people walking in groups,

I looked between them hoping to see beyond,
Wanting to breathe a little through eyes and lungs,
And then I saw a blinding sight,
That took away both sight and breath,

You stood there, in search of something or someone,
Just like me, only I'd found mine,
As you found what you sought, I lost my heart,
Ending the search I'd set out upon so late,

Oh a search it was indeed,
Ending not in attainment nor in cede,
But the loss of the searcher himself,
'Twas the greatest search of my life,

My soul tore into pieces, becoming whole again,
Brimming in joy at this newfound gain,
I swam in the depth of your beauty,
Forgetting the worries of life and duty,

I waited, fervently for you to see me,
And at long last did your eyes meet mine,
The wait for acceptance lasted aeons,
But the smile of embrace took away all pains,

And today, after years, as I hold your hand,
That day comes as a wave, consuming my mind,
Sweetened like your jam, by the crystals of time,
It's a memory, a thought that none can mime.

Written at 9:27pm on 28.4.2017
Small changes made at 11:46am, 2.5.2017

Context: When Swati Hegde asked me to listen to a song of this title in an Uber cab with Shubham (we were going out for dinner) I liked the title so much that I decided to write something on it. I typed it out on my phone in the moving cab.