Girl(boy)friend - a redundant 'relationship'?*

*Most of this content was written on 6.6.2015. Could be slightly primitive, my views have changed a bit more in the last year, but I'm not changing anything. Publishing on 19.4.2016

An undeniable feature of the 21st century has been - in addition to the more significant developments in technology,health, education,rights and the like - has been a rapid development of ,um, lexicons, especially in spoken English. 

Dictionaries have thickened with the addition of - well, I have no idea on the number - perhaps several hundreds of words - a good number of which, have been borrowed from other languages (a trait that English is praised for, but I tend to disagree.. Is the language being accommodative or shameless?). I, however, am talking about more recently coined words - typically a conglomeration of two or more common words to form a third, new word that has absolutely nothing to share with its ingredients except for spelling pronunciation - sounds familiar? Of course! Chemical reactions!! Honouring that, let's call these as compound words. (Let me go so far as to point out that the term 'compound words' is only a mixture retaining ingredient properties. Ok, sorry).

The past couple of generations have actively contributed to this particular field, increasing the ever-increasing number of 'legit' (does this qualify as a new word now?) words, substantially, in addition to carrying candles, joining political parties, participating in strikes and fighting for, um causes. Of these, I pick a rather obsolete term - in the context of new words at least - for this topic - a term that has comfortably seated itself in the sentences of even our oldest generation. So, after three paragraphs of topicless talk, I turn to the topic intended - the one indicated in the title above - girlfriend. While I know you are now used to my parallel talk, I am aware that I have certainly tested your tolerance limits now, and in spite of my warnings about this particular blog, I extend my apology to you.

Gone are the times when a man who, so much as pulls a woman by her arm, ends up getting married to her (MMKR, yeah) - why, even intimate relationships before marriage are on the verge of being accepted. An article such as this one seems archaic at this age - much like an old man's grumble, but I don't think it is entirely out of place.

I stop to observe that the relationship between two people belonging to opposite sexes (well, sometimes same sexes too, but let’s leave that for the moment) is something extremely trivial - and personal, too, but thanks to the media (books, cinema and social media included), everything has come into the open.

Blowing simple problems out of proportions to sell products are fine as long as they don't disturb those who do not wish to be affected is, well, fine, but the relationship thing has gone too far, and even that is an understatement. Nearly every film that has ever been made, has love in it- to such an extent that it has penetrated the inmost recesses of the human mind, "real"izing every possible or impossible complication that can arise between a man and a woman, generating new terms every year. It is my belief that in today's world, jargons make a field, as against the old times when a new concept led to a new field. In addition to innocent words such as relationship, affair, sleep, bed, and love being seen with an artificial corruption devised by today's twisted society, we have several unnecessary, wannabe-sensible relationship classifications such as swinging, open relationship, casual dating and a dozen others. Even Facebook, unable to cope up with all this, has come up with one single option that probably covers up all this – it’s complicated. I honestly don’t know if any of this is complicated, but I'm sure people love using that option.

We seem to have come a long way - far too long for someone like me - I'm lost in this world where sex has become as simple as what a hug or holding hands used to be. I admire the progress we have made so far as science, and, why, even humanitarianism is concerned, but find it impossible to digest that man is getting closer to animals than ever when it comes to sense gratification. Talks of people being 'made' in pairs or needing someone to 'share their lives with' sounds juvenile especially coming from so called experts. Magazines flooded with twisted interpretations of 'social research' - mere numbers based on the banter of people jobless enough to take surveys find their way into hands of people wanting to get carried away by such talk.

Today's progress in any field has become an evolution- or rather a forcible shift of luxury into comfort, and of comfort into necessity. And the process is rapid and purely unidirectional. So rapid that we get used to something new before we even acknowledge its arrival. Some would argue that this is right - that it ensures basic needs reach everyone. The basic needs ceased being just food, shelter and clothing centuries ago - now the bullet points are running through pages - this is cause for serious concern. The human being has become rash, impatient, non-resilient and weak today. Craving a partner is one such weakness.

The human being is indeed a social animal but in a very different manner. In fact, I'd rather call us as beings with dual nature (could've used a better term, but I wanted the wave-electron analogy). While we share work, express our emotions (and a lot more) with people, we're sometimes even possessive, we also want our space. On one hand we want to be around people, and on the other, we want a solo seat on a bus. Friendship is certainly a necessity, but a partner is something that can wait. In fact, I feel that it is not necessary. Perhaps just an added "feature" if you will, to the lives of desolate men and women who want someone to notice them - who want to be "cared for", albeit by people they hardly know, or have spent months or years courting. Perhaps it is an insurance for the future - a bleak future we might not even live to see. Miserable, indeed. To those who 'want' a family, I have nothing to say - it is a choice I respect, but I still see it as something we can live without.

Oh I forgot about that thing we youngsters are so fascinated by. Those few minutes of a carnal pleasure that is forgotten before it is even experienced. An excitement whose graph I plotted qualitatively a while back. A worthless bargain indeed.

Right, so, a person with whom one is in a committed relationship (I'm aware that several classifications of commitment exist but haven't troubled myself with the details), called by several terms girl/boyfriend, partner, "bae" (before anyone else, apparently) or whatever demands an everyday phone conversation (God knows why), a narration of one's day in excruciating detail among several other such things. In return, one has someone who's :"there" for them (damn you, movies), some physical contact, perhaps sex, based on the "base" they've reached. There you go, another pointless term. To the simple mind, all this seems forced - unnecessary.

The company that a man needs is that of true friends. Some need just one. Perhaps there are some who can survive without even that, I do not know. I feel that man needs to feel loved, and a sibling/friend will suffice. If he/she is possessive about someone, the institution of marriage that sort of makes one 'belong to' another forces the expression of such a desire, which, if mutual, culminates in the knot. Or it begins there, if you like it the romantic way.

Ultimately, a "relationship" isn't redundant if one values it that much. In that case, it makes marriage redundant. Or rather, it makes marriage outdated.