Mercy Killing

"Put me out of my misery," begged his eyes and lips,

While I stood by, watching him suffer

From within, up unto his tips,

He beseeched me for a favour,

That none would ask another,

While I stared, helpless, into his teary eyes,

His body burned and so did his soul,

Under flames that would never cease,

They blazed forth, consuming him whole,

Yet leaving behind, a little life to live,

Oh how could the lifeless inferno be so cruel,

I thought only the living could,

But this was no room for thought,

For he needed help and fast,

The heave from pain to ease,

Seemed a losing duel,

And any attempt to heal or cure,

No matter how pure,

Would only cause him agony beyond bearing,

And let him suffer for life,

I shuddered, holding the knife,

That'd both save and relieve that man,

And it slipped, wetted by my sweat,

My hand trembled as I took it forward,

Towards his wounded skin,

A stab to kill, I knew, would be,

A stab unto my own heart,

And though he'd be free from his wounds,

I would never be for life,

I cursed fate, that ugly god,

Which put me in this place,

Forcing my innocent hand to hold,

This bloody knife of choice,

I sought to run, abandoning him,

And this dagger that ruined my day,

I knew if I tried, I might save him,

And the other would free him too,

But the thought of putting him,

Through any more pain,

Paralyzed my limbs,

And I stood watching,

Not him but my knife,

That's already pierced my soul,

Time flew past us,

Precious time,

And I knew I had to act,

So I held it tight,

Turned my wrist,

And drew closer to him.

Written at 4:35pm at C504, H13, IIT Bombay

Impending Death

I stand, motionless,
Imprisoned in this bodily cell,
Staring into the arrows of death,

That come swiftly, straight at me,
Fearing the pain of the impact itself,
Over the uncertainty of death,

Choosing to close my eyes instead of facing it,
For anticipation of pain scares one,
Further than pain itself,
I hope it will be quick,
And yearn for unknown death over prolonged pain,

I take my last few precious breaths,
Tasting every last ounce of comfort it gives,
And listen to every last beat of my heart,
Cherishing every knock,
I find the fear of facing overwhelming,
And choose to flee instead,

I take another peek at it,
Before I turn away,
Distracting myself with stories and sports,
With the little pleasures that surround me,

Forgetting that which truly awaits me,
Losing awareness of time ticking away,
And of life wearing away,

And while I lie such, intoxicated,
The arrow hits me hard,
Piercing these coils,
Freeing me in exchange for terrible pain,

My nerves take one last bite,
As my soul tears apart,
From these mortail coils,
And I ascend the final stairs,
That countless men have taken,
Into the doors of that old friend,
A strange, yet familiar one,
The doors of Death.

2:45am 30th Dec. 2016 at C504, H13, IIT Bombay

The Touch of the Hostile Hand

With a cold look from pale eyes,

He places his hand upon my shoulder -

A cold hand with an uncomfortable touch,

That sends a shiver through my trembling spine -

His look means business and so does his stance,

He cares not for my comfort,

Nay, even my life,

And shall not hesitate for an instant,

Before he strikes me down to death,

I have lost all hope,

And my defenses melt away in the heat,

Of his unforgiving presence,

I stand there, naked,

Devoid of the sheaths I'd once called my self,

Now I see a new self,

Compromised,

Ready to share all he wants,

If only he'd let me go -

And now I see and I feel,

That none in the world is any different,

Every soul around is selfish,

And comes to me with purpose -

It could be for a shoulder,

Or a noble cause,

But is seldom without reason -

While I, the person, am seen,

As the holder of their product,

And not a soul that needs a friend.

At lab, 9:37pm 22.12.2016

Glorifying Love

Curses be upon you,
Oh wretched poets -
Hungry for fame, you wrote on love -
Glorifying falsehood with the jewels of language,
Showering upon it, honour it deserves not,
And placing it upon a throne in our hearts,
While we, timid readers,
Take your words as gospel,
Paint our lives that way,
And spend our lives, pursuing it in vain,
Though hurt and in perpetual agony,
We chase after it in true pursuit,
Of a thing that's false,
While reality raises its mighty foot,
And crushes our wounded* souls.

Written at 6:35pm on 22.12.2016 at aero structures lab
*already wounded

The Dark Night

I sit, still and  numb, as dusk falls,
Inevitable darkness closing down upon me,
My blanket shivers along with my body,
Failing to shield me,
Even before Darkness arrives,

Guilt's eerie fluid wets my limbs,
Its dampness crawling within,
And while my teeth chatter in the cold,
I give up my grip and hope-

I wrap my arms in a futile try,
To save me from the freeze-
And a heavy burden falls upon me,
That of inevitability.

I stay quiet, but for my heartbeat-
For no scream, no shout will ever help,
Or save me from the wrath of this night.

I stay still but for my breathing,
Knowing in vain,
That no wife, no friend, no mother can shield me,
From the heavy arms of this formless beast,

Oh it is but unfortunate -
That the night I once relished -
Now holds nothing but fear for me.

Written on 4th Dec, 2016 (at LHC ground floor?)
I need to change the title but I see a weird reference to Batman and to Green Lantern's "In brightest day, in darkest night.."