A Psalm of Pain

Prison'd in this corpse of suffering and pain,
I writhed in agony, screaming in vain,
Shaking my limbs and closing my eyes,
Hoping if I didn't see, the hurt'd vanish,

Losing all sense of logic and thought,
I saw not the rational that I'd shed,
Nor the vanity that I so proudly held,
And praying to a nameless deity I'd ridiculed,

The hurt that came it consumed me whole,
Wiping away all sense, filling each hole,
It killed all sense of space and time,
Posing to hurt, forever, slaying my calm,

I loathed myself for wasting youth and health,
And vowed to cherish the rest of this wealth,
I made myself a thousand promises,
As I struggled to exist alongside my existence,

Unable to bear my existence I lay, awaiting death,
Struggling like a corpse alongside my breath,
Each inhale a struggle worse than the previous exhale,
As the urge to live turned stale,

The Transformation

Unable to run from my own self, I sat,
And in that moment I saw the truth flat,
It glared at me, this revealing sight,
That peace'd grow in accepting my plight,

And then, as I tried, my struggle slowed,
And, behind this pain, a quiet calm glowed,
It shone so bright, that the pain's wrath faded,
Drawing my to breath, now that it'd slowed,

The pain that came it hadn't yet subsided,
But it let me stay, to live by its side,
And I saw the world I knew, through eyes red,
A world that was lacking but yet still gilded.

The Doctor

Out came a man who knew what I had,
He spelt out the struggle with the perfect words,
Describing my pain in such stark detail,
He held my shoulder and spread a relieving tranquil,

He spoke such words of reassurance, clearing my dread,
Brandishing a dark drug that he'd named.
He saved me from that nameless struggle,
Restoring in me a state I could handle,

My eyes welled in grateful tears,
And I swore to stay at his feet for years,
He smiled a passive nod,
And turned and went on ahead,

Over time, my memory of the agony dimmed,
And the gratitude I'd had faded,
I forgot the promises I'd made,
And went on to live life like it hadn't happened.

As I Lie to Die

Sans the strength to move I lie,
As my name and identity choose to fly,
Leaving behind a curled critter,
With no hope of getting better,

The first to leave is the sense of smell,
That could taste the fragrance that dwells,
And with it, evaporates all interest,
Leaving behind, nothing but disgust,

It's followed by touch's sense,
That unique feel of skin on skin,
That sees and craves the touch of another,
Sans the need for eyes to decipher,

Then goes the power to taste of tongue,
Half dead when smell vanished,
A touch more intimate than that of hand,
That learns and knows beyond what's seen,

Now flees the sight of the eyes,
And with it, the world with all its lives,
Reducing my cries, loud and soft,
To pointless knocks on formless doors,

The last to leave is the ear's child,
Subtler than the subtlest sound,
That forms the soul of all my alert,
That formed from words, the stuff of thought,

I lie now, weak and still,
Knowing again I shan't stand or sit,
Thinking I'll see nothing but naught,
Listening to the moans of my quivering heart,

Its beats, they ring like the bells of the clock,
Ticking away ruthless with mercy not,
Hiding behind its thick, loud veil,
The face of silence the eternal wail,

I lie still, closing my eyes tight,
Seeking to see some form of light,
I knew all along, this journey was to come,
Why didn't I ever try to look within?

I walk ahead, not looking back,
For now, there is no more going back,
I walk ahead, timid and slow,
For there's all the time and nowhere else to go,

The heartbeat slows, my heart giving in,
And I strain the eyes that look within,
Shouldn't my self now be bitten and low,
Fading away, perhaps, quiet and sans glow?

But no, it shines with a light so bright,
Dancing within, in its own delight,
Who said I needed eyes to see,
Or ears for music and a nose to breathe?

As the critter I'd been now chokes and bleeds,
I walk away now, disentangled and free,
Oh mother, oh father, oh brother and son,
See me now, shining so bright like the sun,

I was never what we saw, yet being it still,
I was more the feeling, that sheer will,
I now walk free from bonds that never were,
Dancing in the joy that lasts forever.

Do Not Read Me

Oh reader of my works, published and not,
Think not, that you've seen me inside and out,
For you know not even a fraction of my soul,
Nor the weight of the content that fills it whole,

The thoughts I hold, they stretch beyond words,
Growing like hair when plucked from your head,
Stranger still is the soul that I am,
So dark, it's alien to my closest kin,

Delve no deeper than the things I project,
For I strive so hard to save you from deject,
Seek not to know the being I am,
Stop now, and save yourself precious time,

Strive not to know me, to know who I am,
For though strange and dark, I'm no great man,
Seek, rather, to dive into your self,
And find there, priceless, great bright pearls,

Try to go the way that I've taught,
To follow, quiet, the trail of thought,
Cease, a while to read another's mind,
And hear your own voice and the song it sings,

Discover your abyss that holds great thoughts,
The place where you go when you read my words,
Know now and forever this piece of truth,
The joy of reading me comes from your own depth,

It's the joy of connect, of finding your thoughts,
Of hearing the echo of your innermost depths,
It's the joy of singing the song of your soul,
So take a dip within and stay there a while.