Beauty

Fell my sight upon her form,
On her strange and graceful charm,
It bound me with its compelling claws,
As I watched, struck with awe,

'Twas a strange feel, new to my sight,
A mix of pain and delight,
For all I wanted was to watch her smile so,
But somehow I wanted more too,

Why did I so sorely to want her,
Perhaps the thought that someone could own her?
Or was it the push of an urge so great,
A compelling urge to procreate?

Unaware and desperate, I dashed for her,
Fighting men and hurdles sans fear,
Setting an eye upon the wars I won,
And another upon her form,

At long last she beckoned my soul,
Standing at her threshold,
Letting me into that heart of hers,
That heart that men all desire,

I lay there, tired and worn,
But beaming in all glee that I'd won,
For nothing more could a man want now,
Than the love of a woman he loves,

She'd fling herself onto my arms so light,
And turn heavy for me to lift,
And I'd hold her tight, yet so soft,
Sunk in the pleasure of the burden,

As I held her thus, I stopped to know,
If I truly owned it now,
The beauty I'd seen so long ago,
That charm I'd wanted to own,

I saw her now as a person I knew,
Like a friend I knew some more now,
But where in her lay that pulchritude,
That beauty that we'd all sought?

I drew her closer within our sheets,
And searched her naked depths,
I searcher her body and her mind,
And yet I could not find,
That I held that beauty, that beauty I'd sought,
For what all those wars were fought,

Not the most intimate touch,
Could reach out thus,  as I'd hoped to reach,
I dived and pounced and sought some more,
And even surrendered to what was true,

I didn't see it when I held her tight,
Nor when she gave in to my might,
I still couldn't, when she lay by my side,
And, smiling wide, lay open her naked breast,

And then I saw for then and ever,
That I could have it never,
For the beauty that'd flashed when I'd seen from afar,
Wasn't any brighter when she was near,

It lay a slave, faithful and true,
To her nimble skin and brow,

It lay, seen from beneath her skin and hair,
Across her every stroke of her,
Painted so like with a brush,
Shining with her every blush,

I saw then, beauty lay to be marvelled at,
To be enjoyed and written, and sung about,
A blessing to be joyously felt,
But never to be owned,

Beauty lies not in the eyes of the beholder,
Nor in that thing that's a joy forever,
It lies, hazy on a plane in between,
Both without me and within

Such is Life

Hiding within sheaths invisible,
They live a mystic life,
Crying out when needing help,
And fending for themselves when alone,

Knowing not, their name and form,
They seek to know what's around,

They smile and cry,
They fight and try,
Dancing with the waves of life,

They need another, they help others,
And claim to know and be known,
And yet they hide, from their own eyes,
In a darkness still unexplored,

Oh such is life, that fills their critters,
Spilling out as the truth,
From screams of pain,
And eyes when wet with love,

Such pain they bear, and yet they live,
Dragging their bodies along,
Fools at times, wise at times,
They wear their greying hairs,

So large and wise, yet small and meek,
They live to their own surprise,
Giving sermons of thought, of science and what not,
They bloom 'til they wither,

Ask them how and they know not how,
They say that such is life,

Oh what could it be, this wonderful gloom,
I know not what to say,
I sit, surprised, and don't utter a word,
I try but can't walk away,

'Prisoned in me, I struggle to breathe,
'Til I catch the shore of the sane,
I see in vain, I can't escape pain,
Nor the hungry jaws of death,

I see my doom, clear and bright,
But can't sleep 'til night,
For there's hunger and friends to feed,
And a conscience's strong drive,

So I gulp the fear and the need to know,
The need to sit and reflect,
Pushed, I move my exhausted feet,
And start another day's struggle,

Sit by me, and you'll hear my breath,
And me uttering these words,
These words I've heard them say,
For I know not, how they came,
Nor my eyes that see,

And yet I know, for I must go,
Else hell shall break loose now,
Ask me now, and you'll hear me say,
I don't know, such is life.

A Psalm of Pain

Prison'd in this corpse of suffering and pain,
I writhed in agony, screaming in vain,
Shaking my limbs and closing my eyes,
Hoping if I didn't see, the hurt'd vanish,

Losing all sense of logic and thought,
I saw not the rational that I'd shed,
Nor the vanity that I so proudly held,
And praying to a nameless deity I'd ridiculed,

The hurt that came it consumed me whole,
Wiping away all sense, filling each hole,
It killed all sense of space and time,
Posing to hurt, forever, slaying my calm,

I loathed myself for wasting youth and health,
And vowed to cherish the rest of this wealth,
I made myself a thousand promises,
As I struggled to exist alongside my existence,

Unable to bear my existence I lay, awaiting death,
Struggling like a corpse alongside my breath,
Each inhale a struggle worse than the previous exhale,
As the urge to live turned stale,

The Transformation

Unable to run from my own self, I sat,
And in that moment I saw the truth flat,
It glared at me, this revealing sight,
That peace'd grow in accepting my plight,

And then, as I tried, my struggle slowed,
And, behind this pain, a quiet calm glowed,
It shone so bright, that the pain's wrath faded,
Drawing my to breath, now that it'd slowed,

The pain that came it hadn't yet subsided,
But it let me stay, to live by its side,
And I saw the world I knew, through eyes red,
A world that was lacking but yet still gilded.

The Doctor

Out came a man who knew what I had,
He spelt out the struggle with the perfect words,
Describing my pain in such stark detail,
He held my shoulder and spread a relieving tranquil,

He spoke such words of reassurance, clearing my dread,
Brandishing a dark drug that he'd named.
He saved me from that nameless struggle,
Restoring in me a state I could handle,

My eyes welled in grateful tears,
And I swore to stay at his feet for years,
He smiled a passive nod,
And turned and went on ahead,

Over time, my memory of the agony dimmed,
And the gratitude I'd had faded,
I forgot the promises I'd made,
And went on to live life like it hadn't happened.